Dear First Felon Trump,
So many people kiss your ass in efforts to appease you that you've forgotten the difference between your face and your ass. Surely your ass is more attractive than your face so at least there's that for those involved.
Bishop Budde isn't one of those ass kissers, but just so you know she owes you no apologies for asking you to approach the immigration complexities with mercy.
I want to use this opportunity to introduce you to Jesus and his teachings. You can read about him in a book called the Bible if you can get someone to show you how to hold it right side up.
Wishing you, through nonviolent means, all the misfortune that you inflict on others tenfold,
David Albert Farmer